A Million Little Pieces is a Memoir by James Frey, accounting his six weeks in rehab. By the age of 23, James had abused his body so badly with alcohol and drugs, he was literally a dead-man-walking. He started when he was 10, and spiralled into darkness with each passing year, until he ended up being checked into a treatment facility, which is where we meet him: puking, detoxing and hating his existence...but still wanting, craving and needing alcohol or drugs.
Why is this a beautiful book? Because of the honesty of James, his willingness to admit his self-loathe and the truth of his existence. He doesn't believe in God, doesn't believe in the Twelve Steps or in AA. He believes the only way he will get better is to make a choice - to not drink or do drugs, or to do so and die. Even when told over and over this method will not work, this is his truth and it works for him.
What is also beautiful about this novel, is the writing style. Like James himself, it is honest and full of emotion, and at times like an ongoing mantra about life. Here is a passage near the end of the book that I particularily loved:
"Fear is only fear. I already know that nothing can hurt me more than I have already hurt myself. I know there is no pain that I cannot endure. I know that by holding on each moment each hour each day the days add up each week each month if I hold on I will be fine. I know I am strong. I know I am strong enough to confront what I fear and I know I am strong enough to hold on until the fear goes away. I believe this in my heart."
To me, James is a hero. He brings hope. His story is horrifying and heartbreaking and very real. This happens every day. People are addicted every day, and look to outside things to fill them. James' message was simple to me. Live your truth, go day-by-day and know that you have everything you need inside you. Right on.
***despite the controversy over the authenticity of this book, and James Frey's account of actual facts, I still stand by my review of this book as fantastic and worth a read.